When my daughter was born, we received a gift from a family friend. A small white blanket with a cat’s head and our daughter’s name engraved in pink.

I wasn’t quite sure what it was at first. It seemed an awfully fancy burp cloth. Several months later, when my daughter began to carry it with her everywhere, I realized it was intended as a lovey.

My daughter named it “White Kitty.” She is literal that way. Every stuffed animal she has, and there are many, is called what it is.

White Kitty had been her constant companion for most of her first four years of life. She slept with it. Carried it with her everywhere. White Kitty went with us to the grocery store. The doctor’s office. On family vacations.

When we went to the hospital several weeks ago, White Kitty was with us. She did not return home.

I believe when the nurse changed my daughter’s bed linens, she must have scooped White Kitty up as well.

When I realized White Kitty was gone, I was panicked. I called the nurse’s station on the floor where we stayed, and also the lost and found department of the hospital. No one had found White Kitty.

I sent a desperate letter with a photo, asking that they please call me if it shows up. I have heard nothing.

She’d been lost before, but was found. On our neighbor’s porch. Alas, it appears this time White Kitty is gone for good.

And the thing is, my daughter’s hasn’t noticed it is gone. She hasn’t asked about it. She has slept soundly every night since. Without White Kitty.

I’m the one who’s an emotional wreck.

I’m sad because she doesn’t need her security blanket anymore. She’s leaving her baby years behind. (She’s also started calling us “Mom” and “Dad” recently, much to my chagrin.)

Years from now, when my daughter is grown, I won’t have White Kitty as a keepsake from the years she needed not only a security blanket, but also me. I won’t be able to wrap it in a box and surprise her should she have a baby of her own some day. We have photos, but those too can be lost. And memories fade with time. I wanted, no I needed, to have White Kitty to hold as my little girl grows into a woman.


15 comments responses to "Gone"

  • My almost 4 daughter lost her little blankie tonight. She had her in the hospital for 5 months. She doesn’t like dolls, only little blankie who has a personality. I am a wreck! I cannot sleep, she cried herself to sleep.

    posted by: T on September 9, 2013

  • I’m so glad to read the lost was found! SB still asks me to call the doctors at the hospital to get White Kitty back. But Pink Kitty is now her constant companion.

    posted by: Elizabeth Flora Ross on April 29, 2013

  • Aww! Yeah, when Lambie went missing, I think Scott and I were more upset by it than Leyna was.

    posted by: jill@babyrabies on April 29, 2013

  • [...] unlike her security blanket, this is one keepsake we will have to cherish for years to [...]

    posted by: A Room of Her Own | Moonfrye on April 5, 2013

  • [...] One month. That is how much time had passed since I discovered my daughter’s security blanket was gone. [...]

    posted by: Substitute | Moonfrye on March 17, 2013

  • We have a pink version of White Kitty (the manufacturer stopped making a white one). But she never took to the replacement version, so it doesn’t have the same meaning to any of us. But, given the situation, I guess it is better than nothing.

    posted by: efloraross on January 17, 2013

  • We lost our son’s favorite teddy bear while out of town. He was 6 and really didn’t need it anymore, but I ordered a new one (overseas) so that we always had one for his memory box. I couldn’t stand the thought of not having it!!!

    posted by: gigi927 on January 17, 2013

  • The “Mom” and “Dad” thing? Kills me! She is growing up WAY too fast. But then, they all do, don’t they?

    posted by: efloraross on January 17, 2013

  • Oh how I get this, girl! Any sign of BIG gets me, too!

    posted by: Galit Breen on January 16, 2013

  • Thanks, Maggie! And I hope it doesn’t ever happen to you!

    posted by: efloraross on January 16, 2013

  • Katie, believe me, I have shed tears. I am glad that she hasn’t. I think it would be really hard if she was missing it, too. I haven’t said a word about it, but at some point it is very possible she will notice. I think with all the new stuff in the house for Christmas and her birthday, she was distracted. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the next time she is really upset, she goes looking for White Kitty. :(

    posted by: efloraross on January 16, 2013

  • This is so sad. I completely understand. I don’t look forward to the day that Liam leaves Giraffie behind. We need those loveys too!

    posted by: Katie Godbout Hurley on January 16, 2013

  • This is so sweet and I totally relate- I’m sure I’d be the same way~!

    posted by: maggie may on January 16, 2013

  • I can’t even imagine what it must be like to lose it all, Leslie! That is just heartbreaking. A house, furniture, etc. – those things can be replaced, but the keepsakes can’t. I’m so sorry.

    The manufacturer no longer makes a white kitty. Only a pink one. We purchased that as a back up a few years ago, and tried rotating it out with White Kitty. It worked at first, then our daughter decided the pink version was inferior. We still have that, and I will keep it. It’s not worn and loved like the original, and doesn’t have her name on it, but it’s better than nothing.

    Thank you for your comment!

    posted by: efloraross on January 16, 2013

  • Because our house burned down last year, we have no keepsakes from my older daughter’s childhood, and the ones I saved from mine are all gone too. So this really resonated with me. Even though you don’t have the real white kitty, maybe it would make you feel better now to buy a replica and stash it away somewhere safe with a picture of your daughter holding hers, to give to her as a special gift when she goes away to college. :-)

    posted by: lesliesholly on January 16, 2013